for kelly, cause she wanted a new one.

it seems as though every time for the last month or so that i've tried to update this, theres something getting in my way. a change in opinion, an alternative perspective, a reason why not. something.
and what im starting to realize is that theres been very little consistancy in my March in general, not just in blogworld.
cancelled flight, cancelled plans, cancelled friendships.
but maybe it doesnt have to be that way. i mean, maybe all that stuff is just on hold. maybe its just that the original plan wasnt quite right.
maybe its that i need to grasp onto the stuff that i do have the ability to control and focus on it. maybe i need to embrace the beauty of three people sitting on a bed, laughing hysterically, for the first time together in over a year, instead of focusing on the time thats passed. maybe i need to appreciate the real-life face time i'm getting with people i enjoy, instead of the fact that my computer still isnt working. maybe i need to put in perspective how great it is to know that sometimes he does let me in past that brick wall, instead of realizing just how long these 7 weeks are going to feel. maybe i need to trust the strength that my fellow barefoot islander sees in me, instead of my inability to see that strength within myself.
maybe i should take a deep breath.