body paint and philosophical debate: welcome to the first friday at clark.

theres this quote from a movie, the last kiss. "What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts."

it doesnt have much to do with the following, ive just been thinking about that a lot lately.

the best part of my night last night wasnt the stereotypical friday night college festivites that took up a good part of my evening (although it was pretty great). it wasnt the glow paint that im still wiping off my ears and shoes and stomach (messy, but fun). it was the post-easy mac conversation that i continued from earlier that afternoon with one of my new friends about judaism and christianity and islam and buddhism.

yes, theology at two in the morning.

and the great thing, the best thing, was its innocence. i wasnt arguing, and i certainly wasnt accusing or judging or defending. i was just telling. and listening. and the beauty of the conversation was in its simplicity. it gave me a chance to really figure out what was important to me, i mean at least the 20 minute toasty version. the only thing that this boy knows about judaism and my views is what i was presenting. and that freedom was incredible. i wasn't talking to someone who knew what pvp or mvp or str or par or sicha meant. i wasn't talking to someone who could recite the barchu or perform the motions to baby shark.

i dont know, i know im the kind of person who has to talk things out and work things over before i finalize my thoughts, and this was just one of those right place/right time opportunities to do so.

beyond that, things are going great. theres lulls, but not once have i asked myself what the hell i was doing here. because it feels right. i woke up the past two mornings just feeling so naturally comfortable here.

live from worcester, mass.

so yes, i've given in. im exploring the infinite abyss of who's-reading-my-thoughts-and-do-i-care-and-is-what-im-saying-important-or-just-ranting. it feels good.

so does being here. yes, i've already been warned to not walk on main street after dark. yes, i've sat through boring and redundant floor meetings. and yes, for the first time in four years i have to start from scratch and actually meet people that don't know so-and-so or hooked up with whats-her-face.

but. im in my dorm room. MY DORM ROOM.

and it feels pretty nice.