live for a living

"this makes me want to change the world," i told my friend, my partner in crime. we had just walked in late to a slam poetry event that we thought would suck. we were wrong. sometimes im overwhelmed when other people say things better than i could even hope to.

(i want to skew the difference between tai chi and chai tea and end up drinking a tall glass of graceful force.)

this time, i was overwhelmed with my contentness. in a good way. i mean i guess its hard to be content in a bad way, but it doesnt matter right now. there are those nights, every once in a while, where you think the day is just going to end and you'll wake up the next morning unaffected. they just pass. not tonight. and im not even sure why. it just worked.

(i don't know if possibly, i'm in love, but i know i love possibility.)

a long time ago, a friend of mine told me that i was in love with love. he scoffed. he said it as if it was a weakness. i've never forgiven him. i'm in love with love like jim and pam on the office. you laugh now, but thats how its supposed to be.

(i'll be there chasing sound waves.)

pandora.com has re-entered my life and it has changed my past 48 hours. in retrospect, i cant believe i let it slip away.

i've been so up and down lately, and i guess it just feels good to feel good. last weekend was wonderful. a welcomed break in my already-molded routine. a friendly face i hadn't seen in too long. next weekend will be the official start of something new, something big. but right now? I'm listening to a song from a band i've never heard of after hearing poetry from a performer i've never heard of after attending a meeting for a magazine i havent written for yet and its the most familiar and comfortable i've felt since i got here.

new slang

its amazing, really, how restless i get and how quickly i get there.
and i like to think that i'm at least a generally rational person. i mean i make my big leaps and i have my huge "emily what are you thinking?" moments and i get hung up on situations i probably shouldnt, but still. wow. sometimes.
the only other places where i've really felt this way were at camp and in israel. and in those instances, i had a group of people with me who were equally restless. my mismatched gang of causeless rebels who also were inclined to create a 3-D fake fire or make a lanyard or dye my bangs superhero red or play Most Likely To or draw with pudding on our front porch or dance in the rain. these activites made sense because we were going-out-of-our-minds bored with all things conventional. my restlessness here results in much less productivity. in all honesty, its usually more along the lines of watching top chef or window shopping online.
i dont know. its the new year. i'm never one for resolutions, mostly due to the aforementioned restlessness. that isnt to say that i dont follow through on things, but i dont like the forced something-news. i like playing things out and seeing how they work.
in the next four weeks, i'm going to new york, toronto, and boston. hopefully some adventure and change of scenery will help.

you were right about the stars

my physics professor tells me that we're all made out of old star stuff.
my comm101 professor tells me dialogue can solve everything.
my seminar professor tells me what is cool.
my pla in my seminar tells me that my professor is insane.
my entrepreneurship professor tells me that the rules are bullshit and i should make everyday interesting.

i like it here.