as per usual, there isnt much enlightenment going on over in the snow-soaked territory of worcester. however, i'll stand my ground and once again profess that i generally believe that one of the greatest emotions out there is anticipation. the unknown. the speculation. the tightness right underneath and between your rib cage. it really is quite wonderful.
though before i can anticipate the good, i must get through two midterms and an essay; only one of the three is over a subject that i actually remotely understand. and thus, a blog post.
im writing an essay about nietzsche's perspective of the hero. and really. i dont give a fuck. i mean i know he's this intense and well-acclaimed philosophical writer. but. he was out of his freaking mind. really. the man thought he was socrates.
a boy once said to me, as i called him to interrupt his homework, "no, its ok, i want to talk. nietzsche died 100 years ago, with you, i gotta seize the next hundred." I have this bad habit of relating songs to situations, outfits to outings, quotes to contexts. so of course every time we discuss nietzsche, i go back to this one particular moment sophomore year when this boy said this thing that he probably doesnt even remember saying.
my point is that, when i let my carpe diem-y side shine, i totally agree with him. and not just in the context of that one conversation, because i have no idea what we talked about, but in life. i think its why i like the feeling of anticipation so much. regardless of what's happened in the past, or even how awful of a mood i'm in now, theres always at least something good to look forward to.

a list

the stuff on my mind today:

1. there is a house across the street from my third floor window. if it was in a dark alley, it would be the boo radley of the neighborhood, but instead it sits on a street corner with a bench in front and a capture the flag-acceptable backyard. nothing is really that out of the ordinary, except that a new set of characters comes in and out every day. no one looks familiar. different cars park in front. it's just really strange.

2. tuesday begins another adventure, which im thrilled about, but its going to be so weird going back there on thursday.

3. what should i wear tonight?

over the rainbow

for the first time in five days, I can see my floor. Not that i've minded my mis-matched group of visitors, but for the next week or so I plan on taking a deep breath. i'll let my thoughts simmer and hopefully they'll turn into something productive.
lately ive been thinking a lot about evolution. not science-y darwin stuff, as anyone who reads this thing has probably spent at least an hour or seven of their lives hearing me complain about my physics class, so naturally the evolution to which i refer is NOT science oriented.
i have, however, been thinking about change. and what causes it. and what happens because of it. how some guy who thought i was cute in my red dress a year ago is now the first name i look for when i sign online. how someone who simply shared my passion (yes, passion) for jim and regina is the person i still hang out with every day. how the boy responsible for changing the course of my israel experience was recently admitted into the school that i loved. how the school that i loved is no longer where i want to be.
its just so strange.
this time next week? im off on another adventure with people who make me laugh. people who make me question myself. maybe my collection of almost-thoughts will turn into something motivating. maybe there i'll find an outlet for this bundled up on-the-verge-of-greatness gut feeling that i cant make go away.