sometimes i'm ok with mondays

Internet-less last weekend, i found myself rummaging through old files on my computer. i wasnt really sure what i was looking for, but i came across this. part of me is upset because i feel like ive let the girl who wrote the following passage down, and part of me is optimistic that i know she's still in here. either way, i dont think we ever ended up putting senior shout outs in the paper (what this was supposed to be written for, i think), so id at least like it to be out in the universe in this context.


Its raining a little bit. Not the kind of panicky, desperate, sudden rain. The rain that sneaks up on you. Suddenly you hear the drops dance, they bounce, they land. This rain is ending a perfect day. Not perfect in the traditional sense. I woke up at 6:23. I pretended to brush my hair and, in the three minutes I had left before leaving for the car, scarfed down a bowl of Honey-Nut Cheerios. I went to my five classes. Not the your average vision of true bliss here. But. Something about today.
Its one of those days I’m not sure whether ten years from now I’ll remember or forget. It wasn’t epic. It wasn’t big. It just was. It’s days like this that, whether I remember them specifically or not, I’ll miss. I’ll miss meeting my friends at Steak and Shake. Friends I haven’t seen for a year. Friends I haven‘t seen since eight o‘clock this morning. Making each other laugh. Real, important conversations disguised as silly ones. I’ll miss whatever it was that I felt today when I finalized a design for one of the senior mag pages. I’ll miss the “hey whats up?” in the hallway, the communal longing to just be outside instead of in class.
These are feelings I know I’ll take advantage of in college. I know that I’ll walk around on campus, iPod on, head in the clouds. I’ll wave and greet and hug without making an effort. I’ll do the crossword puzzle, leave the room without a pass, and go to my dorm room without seeking permission. I recognize that at some point in the near future I’ll possibly forget all of this experience and knowledge I’ve gained about the angst-ridden teenage life. My hope is that I don’t.
Im sure by now you’re reading and waiting for a culmination that either incorporates the metaphorical, aforementioned rain or serves as a thank you for everyone and everything that has happened to me during the last four years.
I’m leaving you with neither. My only request during the next one, two, or three years that you have left in high school is to carpe diem, seize the day. Whether for you that means going to the football games, taking an extra AP, or trying out for a play.
As a general philosophy, I try not to regret my decisions or lack thereof. I think that I’m fairly successful. I wish that same success for you.