theres too much hate in the world, but not too much cookies

"I like you because
When I tell you something special
You know it's special
And you remember it
A long long time

You say
Remember when you told me
Something special

And both of us remember."

attached to a breathtaking letter, i recieved a book yesterday. i recieved this book from someone who deserves everything good about life, but instead of waiting for it, she spreads that goodness to other people. its amazing, really.

"I like you because
You know when it's time to stop being silly

Maybe day after tomorrow
Maybe never

Oops too late
it's quarter past silly"

this weekend, i was silly. it's one of my favorite emotions, but one i'm terrible at faking when i'm not up for it. last weekend--i was not lighthearted and relaxed. this weekend, something clicked and i was just loopy enough and just goofy enough and just balanced enough to have a really great time.

"And I like you because
When I am feeling sad
You don't always cheer me up right away

Sometimes it is better to be sad
You can't stand the others being so googly and gaggly every single minute
You want to think about things

it takes time."

And meanwhile, I'm sometimes completely overwhelmed by this beautiful friendship i still have with my william miller, all the way across the country. he's in the real world, doing real things, making real impacts. i'm sitting at my desk writing a response for j-hist. in some ways im so jealous and in some ways i'm so scared of that infinite abyss to come. yesterday i was on the phone for two hours with ahillels trying to figure out how to study abroad together next year. sometimes i feel like just so weird and lonely and other times i cant do anything but smile and sigh because i do have truly amazing people in my life.

"I would go on choosing you
And you would go on choosing me
Over and over again."

sometimes i wish things worked out the way i thought they would. sometimes i cant help but think they still might. in the meantime, usually, i think i'm doing pretty ok.